New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
