dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I've blown a few things in my day
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
