well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
