you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize