I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
