Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
