What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
