i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
