I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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