def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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