I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
