Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Small penises have feelings too.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
