Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
