dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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