Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
third nipple confirmed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
