you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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