Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
