its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
