For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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