At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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