some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
