I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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