Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
