Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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