So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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