i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize