Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize