in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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