i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize