why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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