it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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