Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
