Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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