You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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