just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
