so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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