You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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