This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
