I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
