I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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