I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Houston, we have a squirter
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
