So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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