before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
These tits shall not be calmed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
