wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
