Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she looked like the before picture.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
