Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
