shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh god it's open bar.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
