I looked at my own cervix.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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