I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
