I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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