I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
