That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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