He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i think my cat just said my name.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
