i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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