My friends, they love my intelligence
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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