nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize