you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
