You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
