were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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