Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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