why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
