I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
