im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
