She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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