Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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