its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
