Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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