i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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