can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
