She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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