i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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