maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
