The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
